Why Women Feel “F*cked Up” Around Money — And What’s Actually True

You’re not broken.

You’re not behind.

And you’re definitely not alone.

If money feels like the last frontier — the place where shame still whispers, overwhelm still floods, or avoidance still takes the wheel — I want you to take a breath with me.

There is nothing wrong with you.
There is something wrong with the system you were dropped into.
And the moment you understand that, everything begins to soften.
Everything begins to rewire. 🌿

This conversation — one that women have been craving for generations — is exactly why I joined this podcast episode. Listen to the NEW TRUTH PODAST HERE
It’s the conversation I’ve been having with clients for nearly 20 years.
And it’s the reason you’re reading this right now.

Let’s walk through the truth together.

1. You’re not “bad with money.” You were never taught the system.

Women have been in relationship with money for… what?
Forty clean years? Give or take?

For most of history, we couldn’t open bank accounts, own property, or sign for credit without a husband’s permission.
And even today, many banks still ask women, “Are you married?” as if your financial identity is incomplete without a man’s co-signature.
This isn’t personal — it’s structural.

When you feel shame about not knowing enough, or not doing it “right,” remember:

You’re trying to master a system that was never designed for your nervous system, your biology, or your way of connecting with the world.

And that matters.

2. Women relate to money through connection — not competition.

Men built the financial system through a historically necessary lens: linear, singular, and outcome-driven.
Hunt the animal. Bring it home. Provide. Singular focus or you fail.

Women, meanwhile, were wired for community belonging.

We were the ones sensing how everyone in the village was doing, making sure the children were safe, responding to relational cues, tracking the web — not just the goal.

Our nervous systems grew around we, not me.

So of course money feels different for us. Of course we track the emotional cost of a purchase, not just the financial one. Of course we want our money to mean something — not just accumulate.

You’re not flaky.
You’re not irresponsible.
You’re relational.

When you hold money, you’re holding your lineage, your people, your future, and your past — all at once.

3. Your money patterns didn’t start with you.

This is where things go deep — in the best way.

In the interview, we explored how so many of us are living out money stories that were formed long before we were born:

• scarcity stories from grandmothers who survived war

• “don’t shine too bright” stories from cultures that punish success

• “money is dangerous” patterns passed down by families who were controlled or disempowered

• “be grateful for what you have” beliefs that kept earlier generations safe but keep you small today

When you carry those stories in your nervous system, no spreadsheet will ever fix the panic, the avoidance, or the guilt.

Because the story isn’t wrong — it’s incomplete.
It’s just outdated for who you’re becoming.

4. The five toxic beliefs that keep women stuck

In the episode, we touched on universal patterns that show up in almost every woman I work with.
The biggest one?

“There’s never enough.”
Not enough money.
Not enough time.
Not enough support.
Not enough of you.

Even my millionaire clients run this loop. Because it’s not about the dollars — it’s about the nervous system.

When “not enough” lives in your body, it doesn’t matter what’s in the bank.
You still feel like you’re one step away from everything falling apart.

And you deserve better than living in that internal emergency.

5. Your body is telling the truth — and money is listening.

This is the part most financial experts ignore:

You make very different money decisions depending on where you are in your cycle, how regulated your body is, and what survival patterns are firing beneath the surface.
Your spending changes.
Your risk tolerance changes.
Your clarity changes.
Your capacity changes.

This is why you can feel empowered about money on Tuesday and paralyzed on Friday.

You are not inconsistent.
You are cyclical.

And when you learn to build a money ecosystem that honours your biology, not fights it — everything stabilizes.

This is what rewiring actually means.

6. You don’t need more discipline. You need more safety.

I said this in the episode and I’ll say it again here:

Avoidance is a trauma response, not a failure.

You can’t shame yourself into wealth — you can only rewire it.

When we create safety first — emotional, somatic, relational — the strategy becomes simple.
Your income grows.
Your spending aligns.
Your savings expand.
Your nervous system softens.
And your financial power becomes deeply embodied.

This is the work I’ve been doing for 25 years.
This is the work women have been asking for.
And this is the work that changes everything.

If this stirred something in you… you’re ready.

Ready to stop feeling behind.
Ready to stop carrying stories that aren’t yours.
Ready to build a relationship with money that feels peaceful, joyful, and confident. 💛

Here are two gentle next steps:

🌿 1. Begin with the Intergenerational Money Reset

A 4-week journey to heal what you inherited so you can create the wealth you’re actually meant for.
This is the foundation for everything.
Join us here. I run this 3 times a year. 

✨ 2. Or dive deeper inside Rewire Your Wealth

A 12-week transformation for women ready to create safety, structure, and sovereignty with money.
Explore the program.

Be notified of the next cohort.

Either path brings you closer to the version of you who feels grounded, capable, and powerful with money — not because you forced it, but because you finally found a way that honours who you truly are.

I'm here when you're ready. 💛

Inspired by the podcast conversation with Kate Harlow at  THE NEW TRUTH PODCAST